Let’s start with this: if you’ve ever clicked your pen when you were nervous, or chewed your hoodie string while thinking, or stared at a ceiling fan to zone out—you’ve stimmed.

Yep, really. That’s stimming.

The word might sound clinical, but the behavior is deeply human. It’s how our brains and bodies try to regulate when things feel too much, too quiet, too fast, or just…off. And while stimming is often talked about in the context of autism or ADHD, it’s not something only neurodivergent people do. It’s something people do.

Recognizing and embracing stimming as a natural part of self-expression can support emotional well-being and personal growth. At the same time, it’s important to distinguish between helpful and harmful forms—because while some behaviors are soothing and supportive, others can lead to discomfort or even injury.

What is Stimming, Exactly?

Stimming (short for self-stimulatory behavior) is any repetitive movement or sensory action that helps regulate your nervous system.

It can look like:

• Tapping your fingers
• Pacing
• Repeating a word or phrase
• Twirling your hair
• Bouncing your leg
• Chewing on your sleeve

Sometimes it’s big and obvious. Other times it’s small and easy to miss. Either way, it usually shows up when you’re trying to focus, calm yourself down, or stay grounded.

Is Stimming a Neurodivergent Thing?

Yes—and no.

Stimming is especially common among autistic people and those with ADHD, because their sensory systems are often working overtime. For some folks, stimming is a daily survival strategy. It’s what helps them sit through a work meeting, navigate a noisy grocery store, or manage overwhelm when there’s just too much happening at once.

But here’s the thing: everyone stims, whether they realize it or not.

You don’t have to be neurodivergent to seek comfort in repetition or sensory input. It’s just that some people get praised for “focus tools,” while others get told to “stop fidgeting.” That double standard is real—and worth naming.

When is Stimming Helpful? When is it Harmful?

Think of stimming as a coping tool. Like any tool, it depends how it’s being used.

Helpful stimming helps you stay calm, focused, or emotionally regulated—without hurting you or getting in the way of your life.
Harmful stimming might lead to injury (like skin picking), ongoing distress, or make things harder socially or emotionally.

A few real-life examples:

• Pacing around the room during a stressful phone call
• Chewing your cheeks until they bleed
• Nail biting—it calms anxiety, but might leave you with sore fingers

In therapy, we don’t come in trying to stop stimming. We come in asking: What’s this doing for you? Is it helping? Hurting? Both? And then we go from there.

Why “Just Stop” Doesn’t Work

Let’s be honest: a lot of people, especially kids, are told to stop stimming. “Stop bouncing.” “Stop humming.” “Sit still.”

But here’s the truth: for many people, especially neurodivergent folks, stimming is what makes functioning possible. Asking someone to stop can feel like asking them to shut down the very thing that’s helping them cope.

It’s like telling someone with glasses to see better without them.

We need to stop pathologizing natural coping strategies. Instead of saying, “Stop doing that,” we can ask, “Does it help you feel okay?” That shift in perspective is everything.

What I Tell My Clients

Clients will ask me things like:

• “Is it weird that I rock back and forth when I’m overwhelmed?”
• “I hum to myself sometimes… should I stop?”
• “I chew my sleeves when I’m anxious—is that bad?”

Here’s what I usually say: There’s nothing wrong with how you regulate.

Sometimes the behavior is helpful. Sometimes it’s something we want to understand better or adapt. But it’s never about shame.

In therapy, we explore:

• Which stims feel grounding or soothing
• Which ones might be causing harm or distress
• Whether certain stims can be swapped for gentler ones

And sometimes, it’s just about giving yourself permission to be exactly as you are.

Want to Get Curious About Your Own Stims?

Start by noticing:

• What do you do when you’re anxious, overwhelmed, or bored?
• Are there movements, textures, or sounds that calm you down?
• Are there any habits you’ve hidden or felt ashamed of?

You don’t need a diagnosis to be curious about your sensory world. You don’t need permission to regulate in ways that work for you. And you’re definitely not weird.

You’re human.

Stimming isn’t Bad. It’s Not Something to Fix.

It’s a way your body and brain work together to keep you steady. And in a world that often asks us to be still, quiet, and palatable, choosing to honor your needs is a radical act of care.

If you want to explore your stimming behaviors or learn new ways to support your nervous system, I’m here. Schedule a free consultation or check out more of my blog posts about neurodivergence, emotional regulation, and being your full, authentic self.